The Classic Makeover Story

Today, I'm welcoming a good friend, wonderful writer and fellow Novelicious team member, Jennifer Joyce, to the shed to tell us about her hilarious book, A Beginner's Guide to Salad.
 

There are loads of makeover films and books out there. You know the type: geeky/plain/overweight girl is madly in love with the hero. He isn’t interested. He’s probably got a stick-thin, beautiful girlfriend anyway.

Cue the makeover!

Our heroine loses her glasses/weight and plasters on a load of make-up. Look at her! She’s stunning! Who knew? Certainly not our hero, but he knows it now. He suddenly notices her, his jaw drops as he begins to fall in love with our gorgeous swan. His elbow juts out to despatch with the stick-thin, beautiful girlfriend. She was probably a cow, anyway. He takes our heroine in his arms and kisses her before they walk off into the sunset to live happily ever after.

How sweet.

But wait a minute. What was wrong with our heroine before? She was smart and funny and our hero would be damn lucky to be with her. What happened to beauty being skin deep? Does that only count after the makeover?

When I wrote A Beginner’s Guide To Salad, I wanted to throw away the old formula. I wanted our heroine (Ruth, in this case) to be loved for who she is, fat or thin. Because Ruth is a fantastic woman who deserves the hero, who deserves to be accepted for who she is. Because who she is, in my opinion, is pretty fab. With or without a makeover.

Jennifer Joyce is a writer of romantic comedies who lives in Manchester with her husband and their two daughters. A Beginner’s Guide To Salad is her first novel.

You can find out more about Jennifer and her books at

www.jenniferjoycewrites.co.uk,

www.facebook.com/jenniferjoycewrites

or follow her on twitter: @Writer_Jenn

Reading Books, Writing Books

Here's a picture of a sign a lovely friend sent to me recently. I wanted to include it in a post and then realized that I hadn't blogged since September and that's far too long. It made me think back to why I'd been such a tardy blogger last year. 2013 was a funny old year... well sometimes not that funny, but full of ups and downs.

I was made redundant from my wonderful job at Play.com at the end of June which was sad, but spent four months of one of the best summers on record being able to write at home - that was FANTASTIC!

Throughout 2013 I had a great time being part of the incredible Novelicious team, and was able to read/review some brilliant novels through the year, as well as interview talented authors for the Alternative Thursday slot. I've spent a lot of time working on my 'other' project, which has been an enormous learning curve, but great fun, and I've met many writer friends because if it and hopefully I'll be able to link it with this page at some point.

I love the 'unknown' and am looking forward to this coming year, reviewing books for Novelicious.com, getting to know more fabulous writers through their novels, as well as writing my next book - so, what are you looking forward to in 2014?

Tardy Blogger, Busy Summer & Surreal Moments

Firstly, apologies for being a very tardy blogger! My excuses are:

1) It's been an incredible summer and I've been making the most of my daughter's last few weeks in Jersey before she goes off to start uni - gulp!
2) Also, it's been such glorious weather that we've made the most of it by being outside as much as possible,
3) I've finished the first draft of a new book - LOVED writing it - it's a little different to anything else I've written,
4) I've been job hunting,
5) I've also been away on a cruise to the Mediterranean for the past ten days, visiting Lisbon, Cartagena, Gibraltar, Barcelona, Monte Carlo and Rome. I had a surreal moment as we were embarking when Rob picked up a Writers' Forum magazine they were giving away (together with other business mags) and spotted an interview I'd done with Sally Quilford on page 62! Then there was a sad announcement from the Captain when he told us that Sir David Frost had died on-board the ship, however, we did have a memorable trip for other reasons, here are a few pics...

This is the Queen Elizabeth in Monte Carlo:

Ponte Vecchio in Florence - a place I've always longed to visit and wasn't disappointed.

 

We  and visited the Park Guell and saw this house by Gaudi (as well as others),

 

This is my 601st blog post - I was stunned to make this discovery - and I'll try not to take so long to post the 602nd one. I hope you had an incredible summer too, now here's to a magical autumn...

Pain and the Back Lawn

Recently Himself aka Grumpy aka Maxmillan - the breeder's husband misspelt his name when registering him and left out two 'i's, he should have been Maximillian - anyway, what was I saying...oh yes, the poor chap was recently walking on our back lawn and stood on a small shard of wood, hurting his paw. We took him to the vet to check that nothing was in his paw and telling the vet that he's now too scared to walk on the back lawn. However, his foot is fine, but he has arthritis in that leg and the vet thinks that Grumps is associating his pain with the lawn... typical!

He's now on painkillers for a week and we have to make sure he doesn't over exert himself - easier said than done. He's either asleep, or racing up the stairs barking at one of the children, or any birds who inadvertently land in our garden. I'm having to carry him up and down the stairs, which isn't too bad, but he's a heavy little devil and it doesn't help that he's impatient and can't wait for me to take tea, laundry, etc upstairs and then come back down for him. I've tried to take him up and then go back down for the tea, linen, etc, but he just races down to meet me again.

So, I'm building muscles, while he's scared of the back lawn. I'm sure we'll work it out soon...

Me & Mr Jones Gift Set from Soap Dodger

I recently entered a competition to celebrate the publication of Lucy Diamond's latest book, Me and Mr Jones, to win a gorgeous selection of beautiful - both to look at and smell - products from Soap Dodger. Not only are they equisitely wrapped, but everything arrived in a box in the shape of a book with the cover of Me and Mr Jones depicted on the front. A perfect pick-me-up!

Soap Dodger use bath and beauty products that are skin friendly and most are suitable for people with sensitive skin, so that really appeals to me, they are also made fresh to order and you can order them online.

Thanks, Soap Dodger, I'm going to enjoy working my way through these beautiful products!

Jenny Barden in the Plotting Shed

To celebrate the paperback release of Jenny Barden's wonderful novel, Mistress of the Sea, I've invited Jenny to the Plotting Shed to tell us a little more about her book and her heroine's horror of bear bating, a prolific sport in Elizabethan England. Over to you, Jenny...

I fly out to the Historical Novel Society's Conference in Florida on Friday, and I'll be taking plenty of insect repellent and sunblock as well as a few copies of my paperback due to be released tomorrow since it's not yet available in the States. (I can always hit the mozzies with it, if nothing else!) On browsing the programme I noticed this in the headline of a session about cliches in HF and how to avoid them: 'The Feisty Heroine Sold into Marriage Who Hates Bear Baiting'. It caught my eye because my novel, 'Mistress of the Sea', begins with a scene in a bear garden, as the baiting rings were called in Elizabethan times. I also have a feisty heroine and she ends up joining a voyage aboard Francis Drake's ship to the Caribbean partly because she longs to escape the loveless marriage that her father has planned for her. Have I created a cliche? What's interesting about this is that the heroine in the session title 'hates' bear baiting, but my heroine, Ellyn, accepts it as part of Elizabethan life, which it was. She doesn't particularly like it, but she doesn't shy away from it; the bear garden is where she first meets the hero of the book.

All major towns in Elizabethan England had a bear garden; bear baiting was one of the Queen's favourite 'sports'. Yet I've heard some readers say that for Ellyn to watch bear baiting is incomprehensible. Surely she'd be sick or faint or scream out loud? Why begin with such a disgusting spectacle? In other words, they want the cliche, they want the loathing and the modern reaction. Happily, most readers have wanted to keep turning the pages even after my 'shock' beginning. Justin Neville (founder of the London Historical Fiction Book Group) said: 'The opening scene of the book is one of the most gripping and unusual I've ever come across. As soon as you read that, you know you're in a safe pair of hands... I promise you your heart will soon be in your mouth...' So plainly it worked for him. But should modern-day sensibilities be transposed into the past for our historical fiction? We accept the witchcraft in Philippa Gregory's novels, but we're not so keen on too much religion, even though it formed such a central part of life centuries ago. There seems to be an appetite for descriptions of torture, but not personal hygiene, at least not for feisty heroines! How aware are we, as readers, of expecting a mirror to our own standards and sensibilities in the protagonists of our fiction? Most of us would probably answer by saying we are aware and we do want authenticity in our HF, but as regards what we really like and empathise with, well, that's another matter - that can't easily be analysed, even by ourselves; it comes down to personal taste and that's shaped by the world in which we've grown up. I think good HF always straddles the divide between accuracy and engagement on a pivot that requires a fine balancing act to sustain. I just hope that in 'Mistress of the Sea' I've got that balance about right.

Why not take a peek, judge for yourself and maybe pre-order the new paperback version of Mistress of the Sea.

You can find out more about Jenny on her Website, follow her on Twitter @jennywilldoit or on Facebook.

Thanks, Jenny.

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT

Phillipa Ashley's latest book, It Happened One Night, was published as an e book by Piatkus Entice on June 6th 2013.

If you haven't bought your copy yet, but would like to know more about the book, here's the blurb and an excerpt for you.

Blurb:
Sophie McBride has been in love with Adam Templar for as long as she can remember. Talented, brilliant and sexy, he shines like the sun over the tiny Lakeland village where she's grown up. Now, at eighteen, she has her own big ideas and what's more, Adam is home from university and has finally noticed her . . . really noticed her. When he asks her to a party, she dares to hope that all her dreams can come true, but what happens that night sets off a chain of events that bring heartbreak for Sophie - and lead to Adam leaving Langmere under the darkest of clouds.

Ten years later, no one is more shocked than Sophie to find him back in the village. Now an up-and-coming film director, he's returned to make a drama about a notorious local poet and brought his glamorous cast, crew - and girlfriend - with him. As the on-screen drama plays out, can Sophie and Adam lay the past to rest or will history repeat itself?

Extract:
21 year old Adam Templar has finally made 18 year old Sophie McBride’s young life complete and asked her to spend the night with him at his younger sister’s birthday party – where he’s supposed to be in charge…

Adam emerged from the en suite, hurriedly buttoning up his Levis, “I have to go downstairs and make sure no one’s been killed in the past half-hour,” he said, shrugging on his T-shirt. “You stay here.”

“What, in bed?” asked Sophie, knowing exactly what he meant but wanting to hear him say it because it turned her on.

“Yes, in bed. Where else? You don’t think I’m wasting the fruits of the Bell’s condom machine, do you?” He sat down on the bed next to her, tilting her chin up in the cradle of his fingers. “This is going to sound crazy but I want you to know something. I didn’t just get you up here for a shag. I mean, of course I got you up here for a shag but I also want you know that this has meant more to me than a one-night stand.” He smiled and she held her breath. “Or even a two-shag stand. The truth is I’d like to see you again over what’s left of the summer.”

And then what? She wanted him to carry on. What would happen after the summer? She wanted so much more than a one-night stand too, no matter how much she’d convinced herself that having sex with him would be enough. Over the past few hours, hopes and expectations had somehow stolen into the room, no matter how hard she’d tried to keep them out.

“I’d like to see you too,” she said, marveling at how calm she sounded, while wanting to explode with happiness.

“Good. That’s great but . . . the thing is that, in a few months, we’ll both have to go away and it’s going to be bloody miserable and I don’t know how to fix that.”

She waited for him to carry on, hoping that he’d suddenly come up with some way to “fix it” and say they could carry on seeing each other once they were at university. She hoped he would say that he would drive up to her uni from Oxford every Friday or that she could come down on the train to his college. That he’d like her to meet his friends and wander the ivy-clad quads with his arm around her and that afterwards they could make love in his rooms all night, but he stayed silent and pushed back her wayward hair from her face in a way that Sophie should have found tender but instead found disappointing. She realised that he probably wasn’t going to offer to do any of those things – not tonight anyway but maybe, she thought, he might at the end of summer when they knew each other better.

“Then don’t worry. Let’s empty the machine at the pub and have a good time,” Sophie said brightly, hoping it was what he wanted to hear.

As if to remind them both, there were loud shrieks from outside in the garden.

“You’re right of course. We should just enjoy now, but we both know it’s not going to be that simple.”

He smiled. She wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not, but he seemed happier.

The music ramped up a notch and the floor of the room felt as if it was throbbing. The shrieks and screeches grew in volume. It sounded as if the whole of Langmere was out in the garden, which was probably almost true.

“Adam!” A girl’s voice screamed through the door.

‘For God’s sake. What now?’

There was hammering on the door. “Adam! Open the door!”

“Wait a minute!”

The door flew open and Tarnyah dashed into the room. Sophie dived under the sheets as Adam swore loudly. “Get out!”

Before Sophie had time to expect the girl to giggle or point or shriek in embarrassment at finding her and Adam half naked, Tarnyah started shouting. “They’re in the lake. They’re in the lake. Come quick.”

You can buy, It Happened One Night here: Amazon UK / Amazon US

You can find out more about Phillipa and her books on her Website, follow her on Twitter: @PhillipaAshley, or on Facebook